I was the alternate in our "Toast The Master" Club Contest, which is a nice way to say that I did not win. Jeff Gilbert won and will go to the International District competition on the March 21st. He did a great job and had wonderful content with a super delivery so do not let what I am about to say detract from his win. He would have won anyway, even if I had not went blank on three occasions. I gave new definition to the term "pregnant pause". I think it was going into labor because it gave birth to at least two more.
I am not sure how I can memorize an hour of content of a speech written and performed by R. C. Sproul and flub a 7 minute speech written by Kathy Presley. I paused so long at one point I was thinking the Chief Judge might call 911 thinking I was having a seizure. As for content one could have thought I had put the paragraphs in a shaker,threw them in the air and just spoke as they fell on my head, leaving several on the floor.
At one point, while I was attempting to come forth from the coma; I noticed words leaving my mouth. My brain was unable to determine if they were in fact sentences, phrases, or maybe just loose words.
I was determined to stand there and do something until the 5 minute signal. The green light finally let me know I could sit down. If I had ran to my seat before then I would have proven that at 53, I had not matured much since I was 13 and blanked out on a poem when I saw my Dad in the audience.
Someone in an effort to encourage told me it was a great speech. I could not help but think how impressed she would have been had she actually heard it. But it was a sweet thing to do. A romantic type may have bought it. I, being a realist, however, am aware that this nice lady would lie to make you feel good. So I will not be asking her if I look fat in anything.
I gave the speech to our Vice President of Education for two reasons. I wanted her to know that I really did prepare. She went to great lengths to set this thing up. I also wanted her to see how I could improve it, in case by some twist of fate I had to actually perform as the alternate.
We decided,in review, that I may have had too convoluted an opening line.This could have used too many brain cells and caused my inner computer to freeze up. It opened so many windows that I had to wait for a reset of the system. I would like to thank Ilene for her input.
So here I am ready to try again in the Humorous contest in the fall. I will beat this thing!
